It is a well known and generally accepted mathematical fact that God hates Philadelphia sports. Even with this in mind, area fans were still surprised when he took it upon himself to “break the seal,” all over the team and the city of Penn, on consecutive nights during what was supposed to be the Philadelphia Phillies coronation as the best baseball team in the universe.
The reaction of the home fan base was predictable, torment Tampa Bay Gays fans, who were in turn earnestly shaking soggy cowbells to their sodomite gods that the series would return to their fruity home park, Tropicana Field.
Phil’s fans live down to their reputation
!UPDATE!
According to Deadspin, it turns out the mysterious sage who uttered the words “That fucking guy. I wouldn’t let him supervise one of my shits,” upon seeing Bud Selig post-abbreviated Game 5 was Phillies’ lefty Scott Eyre. The statement, while humorous on its face, does imply that there is a guy Scott Eyre would let supervise him defecating.
